tears shed while moving on..

2008-09-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

i feel like i'm dead.

so if i'm dead,the blog is dead.

2008-09-10T05:42:00.000-07:00

wednesday!soo fast ah!!!!
hais...had counselling with ms shanti this mornin.
and today i was soo bored in school.
thinkin.thinkin.thinkin and finally i heard inner sayers saying he's wasting ur time and you too.

and yeah!!i got yesterday-leona lewis minus one!!yay!!!!!
i know my blog are abit boring but as you know i think there are some things which has to be kept
to myself.=)
janice tied my hair for me!!nicee!!!like ah lian abit..LOL!
well gtg.school peeps,cya tmr.pals out there,no comments.
frens,miss ya!=)

**i cant believe that someone can even be soo happy when they recieved something dishonourable and disgusting.uuh!

2008-09-09T01:50:00.000-07:00

hello tuesday..i'm blogging today.=)
school and life was okay today.
watch camp rock just now.and now youtubing plus orbiting and blogging.(mcmfaham)
i miss watching some of my favourite movies.blaaahhh.
or even dramas..like pushing daisies!kyle XY!veronica mars!and gillmore girls!
oh god..singapore channels can be so bored now!especially the malay channel that is banging my head off!channel five is still doing good but hopefully it will not drown!xDbtw now i'm just waiting for more upcoming outings and so on.byebye!=)
i feel like uploading lee pace and matt dallas pic.haha..till then.

i will do my best to determine in life.insya'allah.=)

2008-09-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

guys,let me tell you these.

i love black and white pictures.haha=)

okay,lets start the day by saying hello to sunday.hehe
its a boring day as usual as i'm stuck at home for like afew days.Pfft!
i just woke up anywae..so theres nothing much to say about today .

me and my sister.=P

*i'm forgetting you if you are forgetting me..

2008-09-06T02:20:00.000-07:00

today is such a boring day.hhmmmsss

-she doesnt wanna reply my msg..its okay..

-he doesnt give me any signal.FINE I'LL WAIT SINCE HE USED TO WAIT.

i dont know whats going on with my life and this is driving me crazy!
i have been feeling sceptical this week but i know its nothing wrong.
its okay too think too much..rather than not thinkin and be a heck care loser!
i'm lonely.although there's friends,its still the same.my friends are not like your friends.they are different.far way different.
i used to have 2 friends.which are loving and caring.but its all my fault and now its just left wasted.soo the immature me.stupid cupid.

okay let's not meddle around with the past.

btw i just came back from bukit gombak.=)went to the lake park there with my super god-bro abg izarr to have a chat and slack cos i need someone to talk to.=(still prefer kent ridge yea.ouh i want to watch the sunset!!grrr..

*something is wrong with the posting section as i cant upload pics or even change the fonts.pfft!
bye.gtg.

2008-08-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

i lead my life just the way it is.
i'm happy with my life.sometimes, sad.
i have loved the ppl surrounding me.but at times, hate.
so this is the question that i have been asking myself.

have i given enough respect as a daughter?

have i done my role as a sister?

have i done my role as a friend?

am i ever good enough as a lover?

have i taken care of myself as myself?

no.

shhuuush!okay,i'm crapping.
yesterday night,i did some research as usual.
and i was doing a research on LEE PACE,my favourite hunk on TV.X)
after that,i broke down into tears.he's beautiful,he's cute,he's sweet and he has the baby face of all...but..he's GAY!i cant believe it!FUCK!!!!and guess what, he's BLISSFULLY ATTACHED with JASON MOORE
that upsets me.at first i thought it was just a rumour but then...BUT STILL I HOPE ITS RUMOUR!

gosh.let me just ask you guys one question.
why am i always falling for hot hunks on TV which were 100% openly GAY?
And seriously why does it always happen to me?shiat!

dont worry!still have hopes that its just rumour!

well,one week of school holiday.=(sucks.

*oh i wish i could just stand on the uphill of kent ridge park and watch the sunset.as it turns night, i will enjoy the watch of singapore city.alone could do.but its dangerous..anyone?

adios.

p.s don't worry i'll be putting back my pierce peeps!

2008-08-31T08:27:00.000-07:00

finally in 10 mins its monday.and i'll be getting my 40 bucks from my mum.
gosh..its not ennuff though.shit.i ordered some stuffs from avon..(mummy pls pay for me..XD)
and need to get something for myself too which i just cant decide what.tomorrow's fasting!.omg.

i'm running from the truth.

i'm weak.

i hate what i did.but i knw what i do.

why am i restless?

am i waiting for ur answers?

do you hate me when i say that?

2008-08-30T19:57:00.000-07:00

i had a beautiful day yesterday with grandma, both my auntie and my family.=)

we went to chevron as usual.sing till we die?yeah!haha...
grandma sang alot!woow!i sang too!well everyone sang!
after 3h of karaoke,we had dinner at beach road!soup tulang,mutton chop plus oreo milkshake?how bout that?LOL!so we thought we would be going home after that until my grandma told paman that she wanted to pass by geylang to watch the colourful lights..and also she wanted to go Kent Ridge park.yeah,it wasnt wasted after all.omg!its beautiful!if you were to see it with your own eyes at Kent Ridge,damn you the singapore view waspretty!oh,i'm in love..but too bad,tkde bus yg masuk situ.soo only ppl with transport can go!chet!taxi?sudahlah,save it man!kau pergi tentu boleh sampai..tapi balik,taxi mane yg nk pergi kent ridge..kau pernah nampak?haha..kau call taxi pun diorang tk nk naik itu tempat lah..nanti diorang ingat leftenan mane yg talifon.haha..(tempat ini sungguh keras u!)but nothing will happen to you..dont worry..=)
just go up to that park and enjoy the scenery with ur family...hmmm..nice.=)

2008-08-29T08:07:00.000-07:00

i'm bored.

what am i thinkin?i dont know.

am i playing around too much?maybe.but i think so too.

cut!!!

no! i'm not bored!!

everything is nearly settled! wether its a yes or no,i dont mind!=)

i'll just continue with what i'm doin!its fun actually!

haha!sounds stupid rite?

its my life man!dude!woman!girls!

hmms..more friends approaching me btw..

cool!stranger-friends!new friends!close friends!best friends!old friends!!friends!

i'm not an anti-socialised girl anymore okay!so mind u!hehe.

well just now met this one guy..he was staying in a hostel.blurrgghh.

he was far,and i cant see his face.janice needed something so we ask ppl one by one!so this guy approached and we ask.he dont have that thing at first but then,he has it.he's nice but..eewww..

okaylah tually..then,he ask my number.so i said "no.haha..occupied".he said,"ouh..okay..hey i have this present with a biscuit inside but its not nice.take it."

i took it and then i LOL.because,he havent opened the rapping paper yet to see what biscuit was inside but he told me its not nice??LOL!!then he went back to hostel and i went off with janice and tnx to you janice for saying i'm a malay girl!bbbrrr!!roar!hahas..

so i met my former sch friends yaww!!!miss them to the core!!had soo much fun!at least we are more matured then before riteZ??too bad i aint have the pictures with me.but i have those picture above and below ryte?ok.mcm faham.

btw i miss my former school girls!!!good too meet ya guys!

nafisah!!!u rock my socks!!i miss u truckloads too yeah!

syafiq,SPEECHLESS!haha.

amirul,ur hot!!haha.

nini,henna,haziqah,sarhan,nad,
miss ya guys till the rain pours!!miss the times together in class!

2008-08-28T03:49:00.000-07:00

i havent been schooling for 2 days.bored.have been studying at home though.=) tmr's teacher's day.hmmsss..nt sure to cme or nt to cme..ah!just dont think about it first lah..i miss my friends...so sad i cant follow mummy to HOM today.boring.

2008-08-26T08:36:00.000-07:00

today,i had mrs heng's coach clinic.met ms shanti.then slack with y2k for 30 min.after that,i was at home all day long.its a bit peaceful today.but the sad thing is that i am super fcuking tired..studied maths for an hour and the rest of the day, lying on my bed.actually not the whole day really cause i went back approximately ard 5.20pm.so its like less than 3h(of lying on bed!) and now i'm on the computer.gagagigigugu!!i'm boreeeeeeeeedddd...

*i'm having migraines now!

*i'm fucked up now!

*but i kinda miss the Bernie Mac show..(uh..still cnt believe that he died on august 9..)

2008-08-23T02:20:00.000-07:00

hey there..have been sneezing and coughing alot today!
maybe i just think too much..and today i wont think!urgghh..i'm thinkin again..
sometimes happy moments will appear..sometimes sad moments..
sometimes things which u dont want to appear will also appear..
songs that reminds me of you.
songs that reminds me of my old times with pals..
and roar family hasnt been meeting these week..
i'm quite sad..but they have their reasons and i understand.=)
have been hangin out with janice most of the time..study together,sharing life stories,creating unwanted problems..doing our usual stuffs too...thanks for being a friend..thanks for giving me hope.and u r always a part of me.i will never forget you bcos i have never had such a friend like you.u teach me something which i dont knw like chinese songs.haha=)

i want to make my decision now if its possible.
but i think this should be the easiest way.

start with Bismillah and whatever the answers that i get,Amin.

*psst.sleeping hunk!

2008-08-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

when can i make my decision?

when will i confess in whatever that i have decided?

will my decision be right?

or is it gonna break me into pieces again?

2008-08-21T06:15:00.000-07:00

can you wait for me?but will i wait for you?

why must i give in?and why cant you?

am i prepared for this?how bout you?

i have too many choices.and this is my secret.

i'm sorry.to keep you waiting.

i'm stupid.i felt like a bitch.to leave you anytime i want to.

i'm trembling.i'm scared.

but the thing is,i wanted you.

2008-08-18T00:50:00.000-07:00

hey there..i had my common test today..and i thought today was a bad day!but it wasnt!someone sms me and i start to smile widely!i go crazy each time i gt i reply frm that prson!wooohhhooo!!i beeped you!and just beeped you before i go offline at msn 15 mins ago.today i'm abit angry on internet world!got agitated somehow.but forget it..kos these ppl sometimes doesnt wanna give others a chance anymore.maybe i'm not part of them anymore?its ok..i still have others who truly loves me no matter what i am.=)and gladly appreciate it!hmm..today i'll be havin nite study at my house with janice and tutor edwin.see you guys at nine!

ROARS!LET'S GO SWIMMING!ROAR family rocks!

to u:happy that you beep me.

to eu:i'll past that mtv clip to you either on friday or saturday.=)

to him:get lost!go and die!

2008-08-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

probation sux!

whatever.so yesterday i followed my mum to her training at toa payoh hdb hub auditorium.after training while i was walking,suddenly a women approached me.she ask me about cpf stuffs.

her:what are you working as?how much is your income?

me: i'm not working..sorry but i have to go..

her:WAIT!then?

me:i'm a student.

her:ouh..so how old are you?

me:i'm only fourteen.hehe.

her:WHAT?omg!hahahahahaha!!!(luffin away)

me;gotta go!byebye.=)

her:haha.bye.sorry..

shit rite?haha.btw here are the pics of me with 3aRts.

do take a look.hehe.

my face was swollen on that day!my eyes!!!but just keep it to myself on whatever that happens.

to u;blanks*what's happening to the both of us?shall we continue?or shall it end?

to eu;tnx friend.

to him;i think ur getting hotter!urgghh..why?i think i love you also!

2008-08-15T05:14:00.000-07:00

i kinda miss them.♥

girls!!shall we do a meet-up?spam my board!!

hey there.

today i'm very happy although i'm under probation!got a chance to meet Y.J,jian min and janice and Leslie!Y.J check out today so we send him home first then i go my grandma house for a while since Y.J and my grandma were neighbours and worse their house was just side by side!then we left together.had our lunch at mcdonalds and i went back home straight while they went to play badminton at lake park or janice's house if i'm not wrong..they left something inside my bag!guess what?will you even start playing badminton if there is no shuttle corck?hahas..very funny larhs..

(while walking at overhead bridge)

leslie:eh,hows you and..

emma:shut up.=)

leslie:i thought that time you got tell me inside the bus...

emma:dont talk about it.(with a smile on my face=))

(inside the lift)

emma:eh this racing game is juice2 right??

leslie(playing his psp):yar..

Y.J:no larhs,lemon.

emma:wadeva!

(at mcdonalds)

emma:janice,why you show black face?why you sad?

janice:i hungry.

emma:but you eating what..

janice:but havent finish lehhs..if finish then i happy.

emma:ok deal.must smile after you finish you food.=)

a smiling face for everyone.=)

p.s hey,i dont wanna talk to you..

2008-08-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

tomorrow's tuesday..

that's fast.and i'm grounded again with alot of stuffs.i cannot meet my friends which i dont understand why.uuh..i miss akltg..i feel that the journey was left undone.was it because of leroy going for reservice and we didnt complete our journey with him?man..i miss him..i miss candice..edwin..shaun..mrs alfred,mr ngiam.i still remember during the 5 weeks programme,every tuesday i get to meet mrs alfred and mr ngiam..time goes by so fast and it hurts to say goodbye to those yesterdays...i miss my journey through tanjong pagar and inside the mrt everyday..i never felt this way before..missing so much..is it because they understand me so much?and my maths,since edwin didnt teach me anymore,i have been practicing maths that edwin teached me.shaun,the report writing.i'll remember..

god...i'm in pain now..i can focus on my outcome now but..i miss this ppl..school's fine.home,as usual,always there will be ups and down..

now,ppl start to see me.my parents start to see me.they dont like it but its me.first they dont know me.and now they thought i've change just because they started seeing me.but i'm changing.no one can trust me..but i will just keep quiet and move on till i reach to the goal that i want.that's how i prove to ppl.i dont show off like i know betta..i'm not the yaya papaya kinda girl.i'm not the k.po kinda person.but if i'm k.po,then it means you still cant see me.

byebye!=)

2008-08-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

hey guys!i'm doing fine today!!

just abit upset is all.=)btw i'm going camping today..with 3arts..

so sad i cant slack with roar family..then somemore tomorrow they going to sentosa..i dunno wether i'm going or not..yesterday was an okay day..i went to janice house to make chocolate.=)

now is ard 1pm..i'll be going out soon at 3pm.so i have 2h..i dont have many friends in the past because i dont make frens..my past frens all make frens with me..its them,not me.hahas..memories..memories!=)now..i make frens!alot!i can talk more!=)i feel so happy everyday!but...nvm..

p.s *i am still mad at you but not but yes but not.hmmmsss..

its all about us..

2008-08-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

today is my day..today is monday..today is my toughest day..today is janice toughest day..we tolerate all kinds of things that happen to us..all the memories that i cant stop thinkin most was me at akltg..the last day when i was there, all that i have left was just my smile.last time,when my teacher always punish me,i dont care..i go back complain..everyday in school talk cock sing song play mahjong.happy only..now,every single minute of my life,i suffer alot in order to survive to succeed and go on to another brand new day..my teacher show me faces when i came back,maths teacher scold janice on the first day.dNt teacher taught i and janice kena expansion from school.i cried when i step into the school.came as early as 6.45. 15 mins just after the school gate was opened.candice cant stop smsing hope smses.i still go on..i manage to do my school work.hand it up and go.i and my gd fren janice,went to ms shanti my counsellor's office.i hugged her..because i have succeed.we bought her some food when we came to her office..after that, i go meet roar brothers..only 2 of them..jian min,and fadil..jian min told me that his friends thought he go boys home.fadil,he went back to school,ppl find trouble,show faces..because they think he is too lousy..my chong,Y.J(i his gina you know!DIAO SI MI DIAO!=X),first day of school after 6 months from boys home,ppl want fight with him..waaaHH!!i heard these stories,for the MOMENT i heard,i cry!ppl think is we bad!tmr is my toughest day where i will go thru more thanb yesterday.but candice will come to my school during recess..

as you see..we can only be together as one for all,all for one,working as a team for 5weeks!if others,i can still see you for like the rest of my life working as a team together!or 3 years more!

you know how pain is it to be called student at risk?!

you knw how it feels when ppl say that WE NEVER CHANGE?

i bleed alot inside!

now,i'm love-sick..cry everyday because i feel empty!

14 brothers and sisters!

2 god parent who love us and trust us when by right,they know taking care of us heart to heart is very risky!

i miss our old home that we move out last wednesday 30th august.but i knw at least i left with a smile.

well,i gtg now..will just show some pics!=)

at keppel towers.

at closing ceremony.

the chill out at bugis..

2008-07-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

my life is colourful now =)

i dare to do good things which i dont dare to.

well guys,wanna know something..

i've been disturbing my friend especially this guy for like kmore than a week.

and todae,i was like,'Obey your gut instinct today when it tells you to avoid something in your routine.'

and i didnt disturb and really talk to anyone.and that boy was like smsing janice asking about me?

asking why i'm so cold towards him?

so the answer is........PMS!!!

yeah!thats right!

anywae he so damn wanted the guitar tab for canon rock and tomorrow i will have to pass it to him!LOL troublesome.xD

btw for friday's grand ceremony,i'll be singing mariah carey's hero song.who can record for me?pls.. ;)

anywae dont worry..i'll be sexy enuff ok!haha!

ps; camps coming!and i have to pack my items!!oh shucks!i have to collect the polo tee on wednesday!

pay now,play later!

2008-07-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

i felt like a bloody fucker today!

the entire day!

so many msg!

like F***!!

i cnt take it lah eh!

i deleted alot of things today!haha!FUNNY

remember guys,if i cant take it with anything, i will erase the things that are controlling my mind off!

i'm just sorry today for writing crap because i'm stuck for a min.

anywae i came back at 7 todae..after lessons at keppel towers,i went for lunch with param,shafee,janice,YJ..damns..laughing the whole day like there's no tmr!!then we settled a few stuffs for our ROAR t-shirt.still not done..tmr i will have to go queensway for ordering polo tees..hais..i took cab home todae thanks to param!from tanjong pagar to jurong point.$22.45++

imagine if you are late this morning and its raining heavily.u have motivational lecture.then having maths class and studying express maths and sec 5 works? going back late just for ROAR kingdum?go home,loads of mails and a stupid blogshop?

i have stop alot of things todae,NOW!

if you see things missing,dont ask!=)

the closing ceremony is coming !

stress again!!

now study!study!study!

my only advice to you from this happening to you is,

'Pay now,Play later!'

i believe i can fly...

2008-07-11T03:31:00.000-07:00

I used to think that I could not go on

And life was nothing but an awful song

But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

Hey, cuz I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly

hello everybody

2008-07-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

hey there everyone!!
hmm..i cant really post now bkos somethng is not rite in this posting area!help meee!!
btw i'm busy with improvements!haha!!
akltg coaches help me alot!tnx!!
and i have decided to be one of the gopal ass.coach after this five weekS!!
if i'm not wrong its every weekend.hmm.
3arts?akltg?
sometimes minor choices are too difficult for me to make decisions.
bro Leroy,hope you come back from the car racing with safe.c ya tmr!
and candice,1 week i nvr meet you right?see lah..i know you miss me one!
haha..btw see ya this friday!
tata!

TO KAK TI OR MAMA....

2008-06-15T02:15:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BDAE,MAY ALL UR WISHES COME TRUE!
DAN PLS JANGAN MARAH MARAH SELALU!

aymah: happy bdae mama!!i love you always!!
jangan marah-marah ye!=)

syimah:happy bdae,semoga panjang umur dan dimurahkan rezeki..!

izar: happy getting older! may you have happiness with your loved ones always.
jangan marah-marah juga! nanti confirm kedut semua nampak lol.

THE END...

2008-06-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

HOLLA!JUST A SHORT POSE.AT LEAST AN UPDATE THOUGH..TAK MCM ORG TU KAN..HAHA..I KNOW THE PICIT LOOKS CRAZY!GTG!

2008-06-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

-STILL LOVE-

2008-06-10T10:06:00.001-07:00

hey peeps!
hows life on internet?
i miss these place yea but i'm kinda busy..gaaah..
saturday,show.
monday,went out with mum and cuzzy.
tuesday,again..went out to town. paragon then taka then ngee ann city..
i had fun though..
tomorrow folloing my mum again but to katong shopping center for some herbalife thingy..
well..wanna post some of my pics during shows and those outings:

3arts expo performance.

outing with mum and cuzzy.

boy..dont you think i'm crazy?
i've been paranoid for these past few days..
is it just me myself and my imagination or its real?

2008-06-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

hey,i just wanna tell you guys..i cnt stp blogging.

btw...

i felt stupid for lying to myself all these while.
i thought i wasnt.
but it is.

i told the whole world,"i have forgotten him!!"
but..NO.

he's back.
shit!
why?
why?
why?
i've never felt this way before.
nvr.

i'm being straight forward now.
and btw..
i'm always the 1st to get "U" grade for love life.
that's why,love life sucks!

i hate flirts anywae.gosh.
just pretending.maaaannnn!!!i'm crazy!!

i just cant do anything now.
it's a little too late now.

just left to cry.

2008-05-31T13:40:00.000-07:00

i will be damn busy from the 2nd june onwards so i wont be posting here
as i have 2 other websites to take care of,3arts cming up shows,studies,family,blablablabla....
bye!
b bck on either end of june or july.
cya!
tke cre everyone!

byebye

2008-05-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

hello guys..

bad news..
for eric dill

i left him.
i'm sorry eric..i didnt mean too..
but now u're not in my heart anymore.
i'm leavin..
i haf someone else in my heart now..
i love jesse mccartney.
he's hotter..
he sings cute songs.

that's all i can say.
because he told me..

Don’t stress, don’t stress, don’t stress

Just tell him to the left left left

Don’t stress, don’t stress, don’t stress

Cause we gone & we gone & we gone

No stress, no stress, no stress

Girl you deserve nothing but the best

No stress, no stress, no stress

Girl you need to tell him…

so..
i think its true..
byebye eric.

gosh..
any guy will comment me and say i'm gila..
but for girls..
he's ULTIMATELY MINE!

iqah..i knw u are too setia wif taufik batisah.=)
but..me??
i know i'm not setia..but nvm..
HAHAHA!!!aku merepek lols!
aku sayang kamu jesse!!

gtg!

btw i'll update he's latest pic soon!
cya..muacks!

2008-05-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

2008-05-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

yo!!

sup..today's friday and now it's 15 mins to 4am..
i'm enjoying myself right infront of the computer as u can see..
i define myself as crazy for now.
i want morphine.
who wouldn't one morphine in this dire state?rite?
huh..
i'm critically lost.
because i'm attitude.
right?i am right?
yes i am.
but i dont want this..
i still remember, last year october 2007.
someone made me this state.because he's stupid.
yeah.but now, he's still my god brother.
the emonians acts developed during december.
about friendship misunderstanding.
january.i move away from my loved ones.
i need to be alone on that moment,although i cant.
feb and march.everything was fine.but i'm attitude.
i carried out an attitude of sensitivity,negative points and rebelling.
april.i broke up with my bestfriend.long developed story.the end.
may.i'm still the same.even during my birthday.
may 17th, i had a big fight with my the other bestfriend,over
small misunderstanding.then, we're fine.
ppl hate me now.
i'm getting worst.
i know.

now i have to be brighter.
think the positive side.
dont be too sensitive.
enough of ego.
i will still be stubborn.
doing things i'm not suppose to.
because the stubborn in me has nothing to do with my ugly attitude.
but it does not mean i'm being sinful.
it has nothing to do with it.

can you help me?
love me back.
i need ur support.

anywae..its been like a few days i nvr mt my cuzzie..
hey giler,aku miss kau okay.haha
c ya this sat.

*i dont know wether i want to give or not to give.
sometimes i want to move forward without you but sometimes i still
one to be with u and move together with u.
sorry.
i cnt decide.
because i'm afraid to fall again.
i fell a couple of times this few months.
and now i'm in dire state.
i want morphine.
is morphine realli the answer??

2008-05-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

everything is back to normal now..
i hope i can be a better person..
although its not that easy..
yesterday was super boring..kos i did'nt go to skul..
i just used the com and then i listen to a song..
titled; balada seorang teman..
the song was nice with the impact of drums,grand piano,electric guitar,bass,and of kos,
M.Nasir! the song was dynamic for me..
nicey nice!
wwwwooooooohhhhhhooooooooo!!
i got the chords for the piano parts!!
yey! i can play that song already..although some parts especially
the chorus there's no piano..sobs..
but still the opening and the closing will be GRAND ABISS!!
now..i just finished watching a show from dvd..about indonesian dance!
oklah..
frm borneo..jawa barat..jakarta..nusa tenggara..nusa timur(if i'm nt wrng)
gd!and btw,i've uploaded my so-called artistic pix..so tke a peek!
well..i gtg now..
tke cre readers!

iqah,everything is back to normal again..
no more fights ok??tke cres..

2008-05-19T21:16:00.000-07:00

haha..aku dah agak dah...

sape seh yg nk gaduh pat blog at the first place??
korang fikir aku nak ke??
satu conflict ckup ah..
abeh dier yg tulis dulu terus salahkn aku yg aku dah gaduh
dgn "not only her" whatsoever..
pls eh..think b4 u say,sape yg tulis dulu ni skg??
panggil aku pompan?
nak hampuk aku?
nak kasi penampar??
terus bilang kak ti that this has happen for quite some times and i'm not the only one??
f.y.i,i've had enuff wif 1 conflict..aku pun bengang..tau..
and jaga mulut tu. career will be career..personal will also be personal..
ok??
dah aku tk nk reply ape2 lagi kalo ade konflict..
mls!
mungkin aku terkasar bahasa dgn kau ke ape ke,
i'm sorry..infact aku memang tk nk gaduh dgn kau..
i nvr thought u'd call me pompan..
my dear fren,wif tears i tell u now..
the changes in me has affect alot of ppl..but i need kasih syang yg semula jdi
to cure me back..
pls dont fight anymore..

byebye monsta!

2008-05-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

HEY POMPAN!

this is life!
ko tak leh expect orang nk blg kau baek2 kn??
eh,skg sape sak yg pekak??aku tau aku attitude!
but u ppl dont knw wads goin on in my life!
soo betina jgn nk step pat sini!
anyway aku tkya nk fake kan muke aku pat org..
aku bukan ular kepale dua!
cm kau sial!
maksud aku on that dae bout that part is easy,bkos i told u 6h b4 e show,but u replied its
not ur fault..yes its not...and b4 the show..u still repeat e same thing!robot kepe??!!
memang part tu easy,tapi ko pikir aku leh nyayi that part ke??!pikir ah!kalo nk buat malu aku ckp!
he told us on fridae yes he did! i just ask him just now!again!
AH! tu kau nye psl ah!
u called me a big shot!
skg sape big shot..waktu rehearsal selalu kecoh?!cm bapak kau nye tempat??
and aku tak buat balqis waktu tu bekos i was thoroughly upset wif someone for setting me up!
kau ape tau psl hidup aku??
if u think u dont change,then ask urself!
i cant help u!u can rebel all u one but not wif me anymore!
and org cam kau tk tau differ between personal life and career..
aku tkde tulis ape2 terjadi pat blog aku kan??
yg ko nk bilang pat blog kau tu asl??
ouh..i knw..u need someone to hear ur story..
fine!
so now i also need someone to hear my story..
anyway wad's wrong wif u??
yg tiba2 nk buat kn perkare kecik jdi besar??
ouh aku tau..ko tk pernah gaduh..
ko nk jadi spoilt brat jugak lah ni??
pape ah..and u want to knw y i fought wif syimah??
even no one realise this all these while..even syimah..
someone else in 3arts set me up..
i scolded her and then she's not happy! true.
but i said sorry to her..i hugged her..
then everything was fine..
then she told syimah other stories..that i scolded her and dah??
tapi tukau nye psl ah nk percaya ke tak..pls..old stories aint need a comment.
cm sial gtu
manusia..suka bermuka2..
bayang2 dah jam kat otak..
kesian..
DAN KAU!
tu ko nye psl ah nk continue ke tak..aku mls..small matter dibesar2 kan...sayang..it's too childish..ko nk aku define talk nicely kan??
skg aku bilang pat ko..
NICE IS TOK Nicely to others..not rude..
but mine is R.U.D.E..
ok??
i define already hor..
i'm attitude..i'm born wif it..
i dont change from nice girl to attitude girl..
like some ppl..
suddenly nk jadi rebelious..
ape??slame ni ko marah2 aku tak rebelious ke??
part office lame waktu rehearsal..
tu pun kat holding rm berani backstb aku cm aku ni pekak gtu kn
dgn waktu tngah berdiri tnggu ambik gmbr ngan ziana!
dalah..one day..u will accpt my attitude..but not from me,from others attitude..
aha!!i gt a nick name!

-MS ATTITUDE.

i knw i haf been attitude..(i'm toking to my readers)
i learn from it..
being stubborn..
i learn from it..

now,i accept critics from anyone..
kos i have learn from it..

learn not to be attitude anymore and be a better person
when ppl are teaching me.

-MORON

2008-05-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

btw aku pergi bdae celebration dgn ayun yesterday..kak fiiez n e gang yg ajak..
soo..we just say ok..
abg amin was there..he's so annoying..and he's a moron..haha..
then there's this abg name elfee or alfi..
he kept calling me and ayun like adik ok??kakak ok??

he called me adik sak and was super annoying..haha..
but he's nice..kos yesterday my leg hurts..jalan pakai high heeled lame sngt..haha..
wif that shoe frm vivo to suntec..how??
haha..then he wanted to get me a shoe..
i was like huh??for real??yes..we just gotta noe each other and he wanted to get me something..
pelik xiolx..
he wanted to get me a slipper..masuk kedai je..nak??
masuk kedai lain..nk??
of kos i say tk nk lah..
then kite tengok conkak..ni plan abg ameen..
abg ameen duduk ngan matair dier that is kak fiiez..
then abg elfee duduk wif me and ayun..cam..nk step romeo seh..
nk tau kenape..
kalau ayun and me takut..leh peluk dier..sialah..
ape saje je..tapi dier main2 je..dier cm abg kite actually..
movie congkak was seram,kelakar,boring..hehe..
it was not seram for me..kos its obvious..
i was suppose to share nachos wif abg elfee and ayun by end up..
i finish up the nachos..lame..
haha..ok..gotta go..

2008-05-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

lol! btw hello..

sorry for the late post..anyway,
i just had my performance @furama on saturday..
byk conflict lah eh..
tah eh..kalau aku ckp skg pun entah aku pun tk tau lah..
aku tak salahkan kau..aku tak blame kau..
skg kau bukak telinga..
dgr..
ur bullshit is driving me crazy for months!!
u change alot!!!

u make me felt like i knw nothing..
i talk nicely and u reply in a rebelious way..
as if u knw everything..

wat i meant when i told u on stage is ur'e suppose to sing that part..
but u did'nt knw..ok lah..that's between u and abg wan frm now on..
yg kau pakse aku suruh nyanyi asl sak?!
org tua tu dah ckp since friday F-dress rehearsal lagik..
tu pun lagi nk tolak balak sak..
skg kau nak abg adam join kau nye team to fight ur right??
so abg adam pun dah jatuh pekak ah??
kau tak puas hati..kau fikir aku yg tukar everything..
buat ape aku nak bedek??
pikir kelakar kepe sak??

dalah..stop that blabbering lah..
such a plastic human..
wad's the point of being that??
i knw the fact that everyone hates my attitude soo much..
now..think why i'm like that..and stop saying soo much asshole!

nak hampuk ke smacking ke..pandang lah kat cermin...
kau belum tau sape aku lagi...

btw my other fren*..tnx for the poster..somehow..i will always rate u better
than this big monster..even when we're not together.
somehow..i wanted to give u a letter that day at furama..
but..i need
privacy..ade org mengacau..
after sometimes i cried..bkos of my stupid mistakes..
that words came out bkos i'm angry abt those misunderstanding..
i want to hug u..
i want to be by ur side again..
i miss u lots..
i didnt mean to ungkit the past..
u haf the right to haf what u haf..
even kak ti..
i'm sorry abt these..it hurts u i knw..
is there any chances for us to still be together again??
even if i'm not interested in ur other bestfriend anymore??
pls msg me as soon as u read this..i beg u..tnx..

and abg amy,i felt better when i heard it from ur own mouth..
now i knw..i will always be ur best sis in 3arts..hehe.. i love u abg amy..tke cres ya..

2008-05-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

hey..sup..
i just went back home from imm..pheww..tiring..
first,i went to kembangan wif my father..i teman him go take5..
keccooh babe!!
i was perspiring like hell!!
we were rushing from 0ne place to another! that's why!
then,KEKEK!!he bought a new hp..then kecoh2 kat mrt!!haha..
funny lah..
then at imm..we bought 2 tampi..
but tampi jepun..wadeva lah..and..todae's my bdae..hehe..tak tau malu seh..
so..tau2 lah ye semua..tata..

2008-05-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

hey ya'll..
me..is back..haha!!
MYE is over!!!
finally!
btw..jonas brothers's songs was kinda nice..hmm..
ellen degeneres' show is like a must to me!haha..kiss my ass!!

17th may:
mothers day performance
venue:Furama hotel
@ ballroom
time: 2-6??i guess..

7th june:
3arts performance
venue: spore expo

20th july:
spore heritage roadshow
3arts involved
venue: compass point

27th july:
spore heritage roadshow
3arts involved
venue: suntec convention hall

every show is a free admission!
(except performance at furama hotel..sorrie..)
so do come and watch us!
tata!!

2008-05-12T01:44:00.000-07:00

i'm grounded guys!!

i cant go on computers!!

ni pun sembunyi2!!

bye!!

2008-05-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

hey...

exams keep me waiting..
still pending..shoots!
i went for study wif abg amy this previous sunday..

oklah..soo many things happened..haha!!
mycuzzie, i think we're not fate to meet lah on that day..hehe..
maths!maths!maths! i've been workin hard!!
physics i finally understand..

and phew!! i went home at 9pm from j.e lib that day..
after that,i catch a glance of the last samurai on channel 5!!
oh god!! i'm crying! i cant stand that movie..
it's so deep..
real warriors..willing to die..for the country..
although dying,still continue..to fight..and fight..and fight..

well gtg now..byebye..

2008-05-03T19:21:00.000-07:00

i had a kenduri arwah yesterday at my aunt house..
it was always kinda havoc!
i meet my cuzzies!!!
i miss all of em!

btw most of us are taurians!
and this month is our birthdae!
"OUR"!

finally ayun my cuzzie decided to go back to 3arts after soo long!
guh!guh!guh!

to ayun,hey!cya this saturday ok!hehe..

btw i wanna wish happy bdae to:

kak shiela-10th may
ayun-19th may
fiiez-26th may
irfan-27th may
me-16th may

and those who's bdae are in may!
tata!

2008-05-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

i've been angry..
everything has happened..
everything has ended..

i know ur not alone syimah..
me too..

i hope this conflict is a lesson for us..
i didnt wanna say it..but i did it..
i cant control myself..i'm sorry..
but i knw,i cant erased the words..

i knw everything..(dikir thingy)
maybe shortcuts are not meant for venting anger..

maybe this is the last time i can say all these words:

i love u!
i love u!
u'll always be in my heart..
and in the past 3 years,
although we haf 9 conflicts.,
i still treasure u..kos u knw y??
u cared for me..
i will never haTE U!
never!
i love u..
i'm sorry bout those words..
i cant erased it..
although i want it..
my attitude sucks!
we're not compatible enuf.
its too late..
now break a leg to u..

with love and tears
-aymah

byebye..

THE 'smarties' people

2008-05-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

today,i'm back to normal again..
no more war..its ugly..U-G-L-Y

but an advice to all readers out there..

*make sure whatever u quote does not reflect u
or u'll suffer big shme..
but for me..shame is not a big lose..
ia satu pelajaran buat aku..

i learnt from every mistakes that i do,i dont learn
from good advices..

like what my dad says to my bro b4..
biarkan dier nakal,nti dier tau yg bukan
dier sorang je yg nakal..ade lagi teruk tu kat luar..
jadi jgn fikir kau besar..

betul tu..

hehe..
so..the quotations must be rite ok??
jangan form word sendiri..takut merepek pulak..
oooops!
tnx abg izarr for changing my mind..
i knw..its wasting of time..
aku takkan layan lagilah..
percayalah..

and kalau nak buat quote sendiri,boleh..
make sure ade pengalaman yang kuat
dan gunakan otak (dan hati)ya..
stab pandai tak guna..ni semua aku dah jelak..
ade org tak fhm ape aku post dulu..jdi
terpaksalah aku type bahasa melayu..
kalau tak faham jgk..
entah lah..

*not listening to good advice is not a failure..
successful people nvr listens to advice..
they always haf to face the risk
in order to be successful..
success needs experience..
not only brains..
not only mouth..
trust me..

BTW NO ONE IN THIS WORLD IS A FAILURE
OR REMAIN AS ONE IF THEY NVR WHAT WHAT WHAT..
BUT IF U THINK THERE IS..I SUGGEST
U TO BE THE FIRST OK??:)

yess..

2008-05-02T03:29:00.000-07:00

mungkin aku dah gone too far..
i dont wanna get things worst..
i will stop..
i will forget..
i will head to the planning.

but it does not mean i'm giving in or failing..

an ambitious girl is never a failure even without listening to advices..
they are willing to take a risk..

failure is just the beginning of winning..
winning is the way to success..
but success is not final..

i tried to fight for truth but..
its not important anymore..

mum,n dad..sorry for letting u guys down just bkos of this, between me n her..
its hard to haf a child affiliated in 3arts..
there will be hatred..
gossips..
accusses..
just to get rid of me..
i knw she and me isnt compatible..
so..i must forget her..
one last..sorry to haf let u down..
i'm not a perfect gurl..

perfect

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect.

2008-04-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

WTH is gg on now??

can we just stop this??

whatever!!

it sucks me!

just leave me alone and i'll stop disturbing u !

dont imagine that whatever u are doin, thinkin,and feeling is right..

i never said that i'm right but i'm learnin what's right..what i've been thought to do by my parents.
i know i'm stubborn but there's always a reason why..

k..let's get this clear enuff..

if u respect me, i'll give back in return.
u wanna be rude wif me?? try me..
u dare me?? anything!

i gtg go now.

quote; being punctual is not only polite but it also does not waste poeple's time.

i wont give up!

2008-04-28T06:28:00.000-07:00

today is the last dae of preparation for english test..tmr..its the test..
sometimes i kept thinkin of that nabe sia..

then..i cant concentrate in anything..
lucky its just for a while and everything is back to normal..
now,focusing on studies and future plannings are better..
i just did some research and there are more college yea..but..not as good as berklee..
but still a music college though..

need to get well on my singing now..concentrate on every note and stuffs..

i wont give up!!

u!

2008-04-26T23:36:00.000-07:00

life is just too complicated that no one can understand smetimes..
i kept changing my feelings for everything..sometimes the enthusiasm of living my dreams are blocked and the giving up is there each time saw u..
i dont wanna quit 3arts bkos i release all my passion there..but there's u too..

its like ur face makes me sick..
sick in everything..is this a damn that u wanna give me??

pls..god..save me from this sorrow life and heartless people who only wants to disturb my life..snatching my loved ones and
claiming its theirs..

hais..i'm just tired now..suddenly i'm thinking abt that person again and dont feel like doing
anything..

*i know u're still against me..nvm..but just to let u know..i'm shitting on u..

i'm tired..

2008-04-25T07:02:00.000-07:00

today im soo damn tired after school..
i had mass run then i had science and maths revisions..
i head to the school library after school and read books before i went home.
i think i dont get enough sleep.

today at home i was busy..from 3.45pm-6.35pm.
busy with sleep ..haha..
i didnt listen to songs much today.
but i dream alot!

tmr i will be havin dance rehearsal..and..
and wtv with what's gonna happen tmr.
i'm not sure wether im going or not..it's all up to my mum and dad.

*music scores and those scales are spining my head!

bla's and bla's

2008-04-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

well,school n school n school..
getting fun than ever!
i think study was actually the best thing i've ever done..

maths was getting powerful by the day..but not mine of course..i meant the s-u-b-j-e-c-t...duh!!
so blablabla..
mother tongue..
i cant believei actually did my expository compo in less than 1 1/2 hour..
it was..taad-da!
5 pages completed!
and while doing hw just now,
i cant stop singing out loud that click five song..
although its an old song..it reminds me of that cute voice eric! hah! lameness is back..

you kidnapped my heart!

gagaga.....
i've been blabbering alot in school.
i can even concentrate on my studies while i'm reading a book !
OMG! i can feel that i'm living in this world now!!
i'm soo happy!
i'm not feeling sad..
btw just remember me as

'The girl who cant stop the music!!'

the damnest picture of all..kos i just woke up when i took it..haha.. X)

*i just simply cant turn back even if u beg me to...i need my future being planned well..i will never ruin the plan..

*BTW ,i hate kyle patrick!
*i want music!

up 2 the sky..

2008-04-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

life sucks??
no more..
life must be lived to the fullest!
i believe its true..

get what we can while we're still alive..
and lead to success..
i dont wanna enjoy now..
i'll focus damnly on studies..
i want to pass my 'o's
and work..to get experience
and lastly..to college..insya'allah ..i'll apply for berklee in future..
btw..eric(ehem..ehem..) is from berklee too yeah..
hehehehheheheeee..i cant stop giggling each time a word of him came out..

remember..nvr turn back in life..
kos what u have chosen is what u chose..
this is what i'm told too..

abg,tnx for the advise..i'll be faithful to myself
and achieve my scholarship..
tnx for the future planning..
i know what to do now..
i still have 3 yrs..b4 i go on to the nxt step.. X)

*i just cant stand a person like u..who did stupid things to ur own fren..
i wonder what u'll do to ur other frens when u are sick of them..
*still love eric and wants that scholarship..

i just cant stop the music!!

2008-04-23T03:51:00.000-07:00

i just cant stop the music!!
i've never been so happi before..
everything is over!!

for the moment(not realli moment), i cant think of fashion,
styles,etc..enjoy..
i need to study..focus..and focus..

physics was fun todaE.
maths,still that teacher..but i can still manage..
i finally finish my own made clock this morning at my school workshop..
amin..
tomorrow will be presentation dae..

i am so,so happi!!!

i promise..to get something..i have to work hard!

this is eric!!he's my guys!!isnt he cute??i miss him..since
he went out of click five..

*i must get that music scholarship!!

2008-03-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

i'm quite upset about something..

its that someone in my own class has been upskirting girls since sec 1..
im sorry but i have to say this..
it fucks me up seriously..

wad if they did upskirt me before??

who blame who for upskirting is none of my business..
i dont care..
from now onwards,i'd rathyer stay away from you both..
kedongdong betul...
i'm just trying to be nice and you did this to us girls in repay??

what the hell.

2008-03-04T20:14:00.000-08:00

hey peeps! i have been quite busy since now and then..
i had reahearsal till i have no time to post..
well,last thurs i went for dim sum dollies n haha..it was damn fun..

fri i was late for skul
and gagagaaaaaaaggggaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!
i've nothing to say!!!
byezz!

2008-02-27T18:31:00.000-08:00

hey there peeps..today such a horrible day yaww...

my mummy woke me up late..hawww...
7.10 liao..its all my sis fault lah..create prob at the middle of the night..so..now what im tryin to
say is that im nt in skul!
then got dim sum dollies somemore..
i plan wif shubin all wanna wear skinny jeans..nearly all girls wear skinnies sia..
black then..
im the excited one..bt then..im nt in skul tdae..
bluek...
bt fun..
nt fair..

bt bkos already happen,
FAIR LOR..

btw i after skul i went bck with nina fernina..
then we tk mrt lah..
suddnly we saw rahmat,le wei,shubin,shuzhuang,wanwee..
then it was like they are gg to bugis..so i go..sorry nina..haha..
wan wee n nina stp at je..so we head there then..
shubin bght t-shirt..me lewei,rahmat walk ard..

so after we ate there..we gg bck already..
then i saw a basker or something..i dunno..he was like statue for the entire day..eyes
so red..wah lao...
i dont even dare come near that thing..
yikes..soo scary..

2008-02-26T03:34:00.000-08:00

hey yo! yo!

wassup??wassup evrybodei??

haha some potions realli calms me down..
and hopes that no one will backstb me in skul!
like wad sia..i know you hate my fren..now u also wanna hate me..
and for ur info,u'll nvr haf back what you left in e past!
gt it?! nak goyang?goyang ah!
u gt e wrng person bebeh..
and u n ur ladies will forever be stufid as wad a shito is like, kos u guys dont even know
that its a game that leads u guys to the damn FUN loosing part yaww!!

so this was what fiza teached me,(but ths meant my school pple only horr!!jgn terasa..mcm AKU!)

express: gosok hidung smpai kedongdong!

N/A: lend me mirror? i want check my fringe..scared fall ah my fringe..
(regardless of sex...)

N/T: garuk badan!banyk lalat...!!

ok..
ok.macam faham..

btw tdae its 26/02/08
and left 1wk+ only to do our rehearsal!!
oh my gaad...(nina's way of preaching this phrase!) haha..
i nd to practice hard yaww!!
the song,the dance steps..gaagaaguuu!!!!

btw just another words for perverts,
just leave me alone F*****!!
i'm disgusted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!
those words not FUNNY!!!
and obscenes are just shit!!!
jgn nk stab yg benda ni semua kelakar lah sial!

satu klass dah naik geli lah!!
eeewwww!!

aku ckp aku suka ni, kau pun suka!
itu lah ini lah pun kau serupa lah ini lah !
eh jgn irritate aku lah dei!!
nk aku REMBAT ???!!!
ur pendek fren, satu hari aku gantung dier kat tingkap emergency
aru tau!
gua kasi warning sama lu!!!!
ckp kwn aku pendk..KAU lagi pendek biol..

skg aku sacarstic pat kau balik..
amik kau!
nk gaduh??
berani??
ni kali aku tak bagi muka nk sabar2 kat kau..
aku trs hentam..
bru kene marah ngan cikgu..melalak pat klas..
ape tah..coward but act brave..funny ah??
maira..last warning 4 u..dun layn ths pple..
just wasting time talking craps..

btw..im not angry now.. HAHAHA!!!
just expRRRRResing..c i haf my own style u know..(of saying 'r' lah)
kan fiqa??
ok2 gtta go..
byebye..

2008-02-18T04:24:00.000-08:00

hey!hey!hey! wassup!!!!

well i just had my editings over..and i'm posting of course now..
well ade orang tu ckp i da lame tak buat posting so da post lah ni..
so back to back i'm always thinkin negative craps over and over again..
im always irritated by sarcastic jokes(alah kite memang sensitive 95% sorry)
up to you lah nak ckp ape kan..hehe..
i dont interfere unimportant commotions aka its none of my business lah..
if i dont get what you told me earlier on it means im sayin the word shuddup over n over inside..
so never be sarcastic and never treat me like a fool EVERYONE(im referring to all humans!haha..)
i just want to be love,respect and be happy all the time!
im depressed but u know lah..everyone judge books only by its cover ,thats why no one knows..
justa phrase happy everyday and evry emoshits will go..

and one more thing,i miss everyone..

2008-02-17T05:14:00.000-08:00

wow.its been long since i last blogging..
wow..im soo busy like hell..
and btw my exams are coming soon..
im soo stress..
soo much performance coming up..
god damn it..

btw yesterday i went to eat steamboat at shubins house..it was quite nice la.but some misunderstanding commotion about stomach pain..haiya..relax la..i nithing wrong eat the food why people say the food dirty sia..soo bad sia..relax ah shubin..things will go away in no time..well im just tired of blogging liao..bye2..

2008-01-24T01:30:00.000-08:00

here's just a few sentence..
-what's the point of thinkin u're better about my character when u're not me..
-what's the point of suffering when i know i cant make it..
-why must think negatively bout me when the deep inside me is unpredictable..
..

poignant

2008-01-11T21:44:00.000-08:00

hi everyone..me im just blog hoppin todae..
well the first week of school was quite fun and bored actually..
i have nice teachers..hot female teachers..and so called a handsome hunk teacher too who was my co-form teacher..
well..i really miss alot of people now..
and mr hafidz has been givin quite alot of maths work..haiss....
mrs heng nags again..ouh..here we go again...
p.e's kinda disastrous too..
well i've nothin much to blog today..bye...

pix of dec 07

2008-01-06T03:00:00.000-08:00

2008-01-06T02:40:00.000-08:00

memories of my life.....

maybe this is what that has happened and what that has been done..
i hope that my decision would be a lil wiser this time..
i know i have a big ego to everyone..
my family..
my friends..
and anyone else..
just a say that i'm critically sorry..
---------------------------------------
Andai

memang benarku salah,tak menghargai perasaanmu
dan menghancurkan rasa cintamu..

saatku ingat dirimu,harummu yang memeluk nafasku
dan memberikan ku kehangatan..

terangnya seribu bintang,tak dapat menyamai cahaya..
keindahan mu dari wujudmu..

dan aku tak megizinkan,cahaya meredup karena ku..
dan atas ke sombonganku..

andai, ku tak membuang dirimu
menjadikan yang kedua
atas cintamu

dan jangan lah
keterpurukan ku ini
membuat kau membenciku
tuk selamanya dan membunuhku

love, aymah

2007-11-15T23:43:00.000-08:00

ga..ga..ga..i'm so bored today..
what can i do???
haha...

this is the list that i've done:

-~~watch tv~~
-~~have my breakfast~~
-~~clean the house??~~
-~~clean the toys~~
-play the com(in process..)

what else?!

blablabla...

mama,when can i get that phone??
papa,i wanna go shopping at bugis village!!!

IM BORED!!!
IM FREAKING BORED!!!!

klah,wadeva lah.....

2007-11-12T02:27:00.000-08:00

hello..i'm just bloghoppin' today..

well,last nite i slept at 4am..usin the internet the whole nite..
n also chatting with abg amy..hahax..

this mornin i was forced by my mum to wake up at 11.30am..ggggrrrrr!!!
then,my parents thought of going to 0ffice..but then,last minute,cancelled..
so we had ~~breakfast~~(better called as lunch) outside and was back ard 2..

my mum was like wadeva playin games for 2 1/2h and i cant use the internet..
but luckily after i pick up alysha from school,the computer was available..haha..

well,i dont really think i wanna occupy the holidays going out..
i feel like staying home watching sci-fi drama series and movies..hehe..
i dont even wanna entertain people talking too much to me..haha..

i just wanna enjoy all by myself..yup..that's right! =)
btw,about tonight,dont forget to watch HEROES on 10pm
only on 5!
it's a must watch for me!

2007-11-11T05:12:00.000-08:00

hey guys..i'm gonna tell u my favourite tv show that is Kyle XY!!!
i soo adore matt dallas!!
u guys should watch this scientific drama series every sunday 4pm..kalau suka scientific drama,tengoklah..
i know i'm abit geeky sometimes..hehe

WATCH IT OK!

2007-11-08T03:39:00.000-08:00

hello,just updating something on my blog..
i didnt really got a chance to update during the past few days

btw..
i really had fun lah going jln raya with 3artcrew..
pergi banyak rumah seh..dapat bnyk duit seh..haha..
my friends captured some pix too..
and i've got it from their blog!

here's some pix:

senyum..

semua pusing!

4 in a row..perfect..

hey!!that's my shades u wearing!gggrrrr...

jemput minum..fiqa ambik kuih fiqa?

that is what i call my mangkuk face..hahax!

2007-11-01T05:14:00.000-07:00

ok..i know..this month topic is all about laze...hahax..

seriously, what i wrote is what that is happening to me!
hahas..sucks lah for e moment..

i'm telling u guys now that for those who are comin to my house this cmin sat,i'm sure u'll see me like a retarded queen..

btw, i've been really tryin to hide myself from frens(xcept some pple) which i dont know why!
i really need time for myself so that i can function back again..
i dont need hearbreakers infront of my bloody eye, or even irritaters..
so..ok??
-peace-

2007-10-31T06:36:00.000-07:00

i fell for the ferst tyme.
i stood back up.
Slight pain.

I fell again for the second tyme.
I stood back up, with difficulty.
With much pain.

I fell for the third tyme.
Should i stand up again?
I dont even noe if i have
the courage to do so.
I fear of falling again.
SHould i feel the pain?
Or should i jus lie down?

I am dire state.
Confused. Pain.

Is morphine the answer?

2007-10-31T04:45:00.000-07:00

goodness!it's been a few days since i last bloghoppin'.
well, ~~bored~~ again...hahax..
btw,i aint really got a mood to go jln raye thingy on the 3rd nov..it aint blending..
but hopefully YES!
hey kamu! kasilah semangat..tak gerek seh..

2007-10-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

school's bored!

i feel ~~worst~~. worser!
shit!shit!shit!
i'm bored u see..
school has nothing now!
wake up early in the mornin and and going to school like a
dumb ass@$#%^&!i need better stuffs! u know, STUFFS!!
stuffs= ANYTHING!!
all in my mind is shit now!
dont get it wrong..it's what i can think of u see..
suppose to tell that ### i'm not in school but who cares! i'm different now..
u promised with the old girl! not me! haha!!
ok2..
i'm a freak today!!

the stupid mood

2007-10-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

seriously speakin..im not in a mood..
depression is in me..
n i'm a former part-time idiot..
problems for the bloods sides..
havoc bursting my ears..
criticizers n haters disturbing my girls..

shoots...i just cant stand it..its piercing inside..
n getting even..
wadevalah..

nxt yr..me turn sec2..i'm concentrating more towards studies(u dont believe my words??my bet..)
n my passion..singing..(hmm..)
i juz wana be an unknown rocker..
without telling who i am..what i like..

hate suckers who disturb this rocker here..
player??me??not my game..i hate players..even sweet-talkers or maybe flirters..kos they are jus wadeva..(i dont care..u my bro??stop that habit..u my fren,dont do that thing..)
it aint no matter i'm a victim or not..so as long as i say PLAYERS are piercing every womens heart!)
but if there's women outside being a player,i call that bitch..(it's not a vulgar..it's a vocabulary for some circumstances..)

criticizers..oh shoots..another one..
actually its ur habit..
but if it's not..i dont knw what to say..haiz..

i need peace..
i need no works..
peace can happen anytime IF U JUST SHUT UP FOR THAT TYPICAL MOMENT!
it can be in my room..the toilet..or anything..
so long as no noise occurs..

ok2..i'd better stop this wadeva stuffs..
once i'm chill..i'll be ok..

-schoolz-

2007-10-04T22:47:00.000-07:00

today's friday....

i had my maths test..
my invigilator was my discipline master..
and when he step right into my class..he kept on smiling..
so i told shuting..'siao ah this DM!'

then after exam..as usual..i went home straight..
i went back with humaira and she was quite annoying..
so i repeatedly say 'shuddup lah slenger..'
khairul was also kpo..suddenly walk beside me and was making my blood so the upstairs!
lucky he nvr took the same bus as me if not i would haf killed him..(irritating shortie)
hais..reached home ard 11.12 am n feeling so tired!

but i cant wait for tmr..meet 3arts!
woow!! c u guys!

-schoolz-

2007-10-04T22:32:00.000-07:00

hello....

yesterday was quite ok lah my day in school....
i had my english paper...
and it was abit difficult..hehe...

janice was still siao2 after she told me she just broke up...hais..masih muda sudah bercinta...
shu bin with her cute hello kitty file..dorts..
and humaira rebond her hair again..LOL!
when i showed jess my neoprints.. she say i very siong eh! walawe!
and luckily got no spotcheck!

the invigilator was like so naggy that i cant even concentrate during the examination..
and i went home straight after the examination..ard 12.15...

2007-10-02T23:34:00.000-07:00

today's wednesday..

thursday...
friday...
SATURDAY!!

6th october!!!
hari yang teristimewa buat saya!!(ceh..bahasa baku seh..)
i will be having iftar with 3arts!!

tak sabarlah..
dapat juga aku berjumpa dengan my second family...
alhamdulillah....

so meet u guys soon!!!

tapi kite nak buke kat ane eh???
sape2 yang tau bilang lah!!
my mum tak fair!!
semue dier tak nak bilang!
tak aci!!!dier ckp nak pergi ikut je..
jgn bnyk tnye...

hmm.....

hey...

2007-09-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

hey...now i'm in the computer lab doin nothin...hmm...

nak tulis ape eh???
takde idea lah...

btw...best tak lagu yang ade at my blog???

haha...STUPID QUESTION!!

OK2..I LAME..i lame..

wow!!

2007-09-30T04:32:00.000-07:00

hello everyone...

hmm...well...1stly, im bored...
secondly...i've got nothing to write!(dorts..)

let me think....
hmmmmm......

aha!!

still remember on the 22nd of september...
i went out with my girlfriends...
it was so fun! we did so much stuffs!!

we jln2 together..buka..go starbucks!...n do some cool stuffs..

we met at bugis ard 4-5++..

then we thought of gg for neoprints..skali..
neoprint punye kedai da tutup!! mengamuk aku kat situ! haha..

so kite pergi bugis village..saje2 je jln..

lepas tu..kite buka at KFC!!!!
imagine eh..buka was ard 7+..yet,
kite smpai KFC ard 5.45...(Masih ingt timing lagik!)

blablabla...

kite semue go starbucks...
jeng!jeng!jeng!
mcm2 hal!
mula2 mcm ni...
my drink terkene my face..gara2 syimah lah..buat kelakar tak tentu timing...

then we kacau one guy ni..(let us be the only one who knows..)
haha!!!
kat sms, dier banyak tanye tau!
so kite tiga da fed up..kite kenekan dier!
smpai dier marah2!(climax!climax!)

the planner was my dearest cutie syimah..
org tengahnya..fiqa darling..
dan salah satu pelakonnye, me!

i was the one smsing that person..
kecoh!(dlm sms pun boleh kecoh??)

i was actualli scared doin this..n i nearly cried!!!sobs..
so i told syimah..please tell him the truth!!!!

and she did..

i reached home ard 10.45++
(maklum lah..flight delay..kakaka!!)

then we still continue smsing!

kat rumah pun blum settle2!

fiqa called me on the phone frm 12+ up till 3.15..(phew..)
while he sms me berturut2...

phuyoh!!!!

pls...it's heavy tu pegang watak mcm ni bile tengah candid kan org!

so itu sajalah...i'm off to shower! bye!!!

2007-09-30T03:58:00.000-07:00

hello everyone...

hmm...well...1stly, im bored...
secondly...i've got nothing to write!(dorts..)

let me think....
hmmmmm......

aha!!

still remember on the 22nd of september...
i went out with my girlfriends...
it was so fun! we did so much stuffs!!

we jln2 together..buka..go starbucks!...n do some cool stuffs..

we met at bugis ard 4-5++..

then we thought of gg for neoprints..skali..
neoprint punye kedai da tutup!! mengamuk aku kat situ! haha..

so kite pergi bugis village..saje2 je jln..

lepas tu..kite buka at KFC!!!!
imagine eh..buka was ard 7+..yet,
kite smpai KFC ard 5.45...(Masih ingt timing lagik!)

blablabla...

kite semue go starbucks...
jeng!jeng!jeng!
mcm2 hal!
mula2 mcm ni...
my drink terkene my face..gara2 syimah lah..buat kelakar tak tentu timing...

then kite kacau lah satu manusia ni..(let us be the only one who knows..)
haha!!!
kat sms, dier banyak tanye tau!
so kite tiga da fed up..kite kenekan dier!
smpai dier marah2!(climax!climax!)

the planner was my dearest cutie syimah..
org tengahnya..fiqa darling..
dan salah satu pelakonnye, me!

i was the one smsing that person..
kecoh!(dlm sms pun boleh kecoh??)

i was actualli scared doin this..n i nearly cried!!!sobs..
so i told syimah..please tell him the truth!!!!

and she did..

i reached home ard 10.45++
(maklum lah..flight delay..kakaka!!)

then we still continue smsing!

kat rumah pun blum settle2!

fiqa called me on the phone frm 12+ up till 3.15..(phew..)